Dating After 40 Advice: Choosing Singles Events to Attend With Discernment for Quality Mate Finding

If you're single and over forty years old, maybe you haven't been on a date in awhile, or you haven't really dated much this year. Once you get back into the dating saddle again and have established some "dating momentum," most midlife singles don't want to waste their time on dates leading nowhere. After 40 singles don't want to waste their time just going on dead end dates. How can you select what singles events for your attending? What criteria is smart to use to choose the singles activities to pursue with your precious time in your modern busy schedule? Read on to discover advice from a dating expert.

Once you are going on date regularly and are meeting new people as a matter of course each week, then you have now established what I coined as "dating momentum." Good for you! You are well on your way to finding and attracting a quality marriage-minded mate. Now it's essential to start choosing the singles events and activities you attend with discernment.

Now, I know one single woman who is quite high maintenance and won't go out with any man who is not in a certain education or income bracket. Nor will she date a man who is divorced. But I feel these single people don't know what it entails to actually be in a relationship with a real person. So they will often use this ideal criteria to dismiss meeting actual, real, and genuine people.

Allow me to introduce to you a wonderful way to meet quality singles once you have first established your dating momentum: business networking events and singles events.

Once you are in dating mode, the thing is you can run the risk of building a cacophony of activity just for activities' sake.

But the better and more effective idea is to become strategic in the events and activities you pursue with your precious time. With so many singles living very busy and demanding professional lives, you need to become strategic in your selection process in order to be as effective as you want to be to meet relationship-mind quality singles.

Start to build up lists of multiple things you could go do at anytime to meet more people in your area, whether you live in a metropolitan city or in the deep country. Be on the lookout for networking events you could be sowing yourself into to meet and network with more prospective dates.

You do need to sow seed, but not like you do in your fallow time.

It isn't just about who curls my toes.

Part of the work I do with my Personal Dating Coaching clients is to do a lot of defining of what it is that we want in a relationship, to feel and to experience. Now, we're not exactly going to think do and feel all of that or even right away with someone. But it is like the plum line against which we hold our relationships.

Then reflect after a few dates, "which ones are close?" to your marriage relationship model?

Do keep those.

Develop those relationships and pursue those to the next stage or so while we are further discerning.

And we must let the others go.

What about you?

To move forward, what do you need to let of, or whom?

Let go of those with whom you really are not a match, and instead focus your dating time, energy, and efforts on quality possible mates who are relationship and marriage-minded like you.

How to Start Dating in Your 50's

It's tough to start dating in your 50's when you've been with the same person for so many years. The process gets easier once you find the first date. You may have gone through a messy divorce or you lost your spouse.

Whatever the reason, you are lonely and want to get on with your life. Look for a dating service that offers help in setting up your profile. You want to be matched with someone that's compatible. The best dating company will run a background check and screen the applicant. They care about their clients and want to help as much as possible to find them the right person.

Maybe you are looking for someone in their fifties and he has lost his wife or gone through a divorce too. You want him to have interests that you have and show kindness and respect. You're at the age where you don't want to make the big mistake of getting matched with the wrong person.

Do your research and find the dating service that caters to your age group. Some people in this age group have a tough time trusting others as they have probably had bad experiences with someone in the past. You need someone you can trust that is understanding to your needs with a great personality.

When you've been matched from the dating service, and you are ready for your first date, be sure to write down questions you want to ask him. Find out what he likes to do, and if you have pets, ask him about his pets.

There will be things you both have in common, it's just asking the questions. When you meet him for the first time, you will know in a matter of minutes if you like him and he will know too. Keep your financial status to yourself, because if you have money you won't know if he likes you or the money.

Don't tell him about your personal affairs such as how much your house is worth, or how many kids and grandkids you have. Save all that for another time. If he seems over-bearing and rude, make an excuse to leave.

If after you meet him and you just don't like him, find a way to cut the meeting short. There is true romance for you out there; you just need to know where to look. There is someone for everybody and you're no different. There's never a good reason why a person has to be alone at any age. Now is the time to learn how to start dating in your 50's and you will find the true one.

After 50 Dating Advice: Getting Comfortable Meeting People by Attending Adult Ed Enrichment Classes

If you're a mature midlife single desiring to date again but feeling lost and rusty at socializing, there's hope. Discover ways to comfortably practice meeting strangers and new people right near where you live. Avoid the meat market pick up feel of some of the internet dating sites. Instead, you can venture back into dating and socializing slowly at your own pace, just dipping your toe in the water of the modern singles scene by attending Personal Enrichment classes at your local Community College and Adult Ed programs. Here's how you can easily get started with comfort and ease.

No matter what time of year it is, it's wonderful time to try new things and learn something new. Regardless of what season it, with your local Adult Education Programs, it's always time to go back to school.

Remember that fun thrill that would start to develop each August as you saw the season of Autumn approaching? It was time to go shopping for new "Back to School" clothes and fashions. It was also time to purchase new 3-Ring binders, lined notebook paper, pens and pencils. Everything was fresh and new, and the new school year held such promise for new possibilities. Indeed, it was always such a fun time of year. By registering for and attending some Personal Enrichment topic classes at your local Community College's Extension Center, you can regain some of that exciting promise of meeting new people, greeting a new expert teacher, and learning a new subject.

One of the most important behaviors I encourage coaching clients over 50 years old to is to get out there a bit each week, meet some new people casually, and while you are at it, go ahead and learn a few new things.

Do check out your Adult Ed classes at your local community college. They have classes year round. Quite often the best classes which are the most interactive with both your instructor and your fellow students are the single session one day workshop seminars. Typically these classes are offered in the Personal Enrichment category. The one day option is easy to fit into your schedule, so these classes often have the best turn out. That means you'll meet a larger number of people more easily with the investment of your time. The single session workshops often start in the morning. Many of them will have a more advanced discussion of the topic in a second follow up workshop to register for in the same afternoon. Go ahead and attend both of the workshops. Pack your lunch, and go.

One secret tidbit of advice I'll share with you which I share with my coaching clients is to remember to spiff up your image and how you dress when you attend the workshop. Don't wear your scruffy cleaning house garb that you might wear at home. Shun your sweatsuit. Why? Because you are in front of a number of people who are either your direct target audience for possible dates, or at least a handful of other people who could become your social acquaintances and expand your social circle. You want to dress in a manner which is both casual and geared to impress.

My last mature singles coaching secret I will share with you all is be sure to get up, stretch, and chat up the other attendees during the class breaks. You only have the single session to meet them. So do consider carrying a personal card with you and wearing a conversation starter. That way you are easy to talk with and at the end of the few minutes you have to talk, you can easily hand them your personal card and request their card.

Online Dating Profile Tips for Middle Aged Men 1-2-3 - No Sugar Coating

1. What To Say and What Not To Say - Let's face it. It is an online dating profile and the point of an online dating profile is to uh... get a date! So in our profile let's not talk about past relationships, or how long we've been divorced, or separated, or how painful it was, etc. Be honest about it in the Q & A section, but please don't belabor the point. Your past relationships are just that... in the past. So please talk about current day events, including the type of girl you would like to meet. And if the type of girl you are looking for happens to resonates with one of us female sorts, we just might drop you a line. Why? Because you've made it about us and not about your ex. Eventually, should the planets line up, there will be plenty of opportunity to talk about all sorts of things, including our collective pasts.

2. Those Pictures - First, too many pictures screams run! And yes we know you love your kitten Chloe, but a picture of you cuddled up with Chloe is not so sexy. And the full on bicycle gear, helmet, sunglasses, cleats, etc. looks like an advertisement. It is okay as a secondary picture, but not for the main photo. Oh and the picture of you horizontal on a sofa... gazing up into the camera, sorry guys! As for those big fish pictures... chances are we are probably not impressed and the first thing that comes to my mind is gills, guts and stinky fish smell. And please, please, please no zipper shots and save the bare chest for live and in person. For those of you who don't want to post your picture because you are the CEO of a big corporation, or whatever 'original' reason you've come up with, you are probably not going to get very far. We want to see your face, your eyes, your smile, and perhaps you in different settings that suggest your interests and those we might share together. Travel, outdoor activities, cooking with friends, etc. We women are like you men in that we want something to look at yes, but please make it interesting to us. Once we get to know each other we will have the opportunity to learn more about you in all different sorts of settings, including the bare chest.

3. Be Honest Honest Honest and Be Real - You've had great emails, entertaining text messaging and even a fun chat on the phone, you are SUPER excited and now you're looking forward to staring into your potential future girlfriend's big brown eyes while sipping your Cazadores margarita and munching on tortilla chips. You arrive at the restaurant, look around and not a familiar face anywhere in sight. And then over walks a stranger who calls out your name, a stranger who has some bit of familiarity but looks older, is a little heavier and 2 inches shorter than the online profile. Dang! You've been hood winked! Trust me on this one: It is not a good way to start out. Be honest in your profile! Be honest about your age! It doesn't matter if you are trying to beat a search engine, or if you feel like a testosterone raging 27 year old when you are really 65. And be honest about your body type including your height. As much as we might like to think we are bigger and stronger and taller than we really are (me included, all 62 1/2 inches of me), rulers and tape measures all use the same universal standard. So be real! If somebody doesn't like YOU and embrace YOU for who YOU are... stop wasting your time, because time is finite... treat 'em like the fish that wasn't big enough, let 'em go!

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How to Start Dating Again After 50 - Tips for Getting Out There

Do go slowly when you're getting back into the dating scene again over the age of 50 years old.

Before you put on your best dress or most dapper duds and head out to the singles bars or a singles conference, think of dating as akin to working out at the gym. You wouldn't try to press the maximum weight capacity your very first day at the local physical fitness club. So you wouldn't jump into the deep end of the pool with mature singles dating scene right out of the gate, either.

Instead, start with ways of socializing that are like an active warm up at the gym.

Before you do senior dating, take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself when was the last time you updated your image?

If it's been more than 15 years since you've updated your image, your look might still be stuck in the 1980s. This is an idea for both the single guys and gals to ponder and reflect upon.

Ladies, go visit your favorite salon and ask for some ideas for an undated look. Ask them what are some popular new colors being featured this season which they think you could wear. Try those new colors on slowly as a new nail polish or lipstick. Treat yourself to a new attractive and alluring dress which flatters your figure for wearing on a first date.

Men, talk to your barber about how you can bring your image into the 21st century. While you're at it, purchase a few new spiffy shirts which you could confidently wear on a first date.

Start socializing before you start into the mature singles dating scene.

Start to stretch your social muscles slowly by going to social mingling activities first. Build up your social ease, poise, and confidence this way.

What are some social activities you can practice your social skills at first before starting dating again?

1. Attend an author reading at your local book store.

It is a low commitment level. You only have to attend one time. Go with the goal of lightly conversing with 3 people while you are there. If you enjoy talking with anyone more than a few minutes, man or woman, just invite them to go join you for a coffee and to extend the conversation a little bit. They don't have to become someone you date. They might just turn into a new friend! When you expand your social circle, you expand your social options right along with them.

2. Attend a Personal Enrichment Class at Your Local Community College Community Education Program

Select one of the Saturday workshops which gives you the greatest number of people likely to attend. Choose a seminar which has a singles-related topic to it like Internet Dating or Charisma. That way more of your fellow attendees are likely to be single.

3. Go to a Presentation at Your Local Public Library

Your local public library has an events calendar. Go to a new of their different presentations. Men: you'll meet a lot of women at the Romance Authors event. Ladies: you will encounter more men attending the financial planning and mortgage information sessions.

By sprucing up your image, you'll look your best at the age you are now. And by attending a variety of events which are more community based than a singles group, you can practice all of your singles social skills but all of the pressure of the pick up singles bars is off of you.

Dating After 40 in LA: Cool Place to Meet Midlife Singles in Los Angeles Is Dinner and Music

Meeting midlife singles in the Los Angeles area can be quite a daunting challenge. The pick up singles bar scene is really geared towards the under 35 year old glamor crowd. It's unfortunate. Alternatively, is online dating your only other option? Internet dating sites are great, but you do still want to get out, meet people, and have a social life. You really do never know where love will find you. By aiming to frequent fun, hip, and cool venues around LA county, you take care of both needs. Discover how to leverage dinner and music venues for meeting more people, and maybe get your next Saturday night date. Read on.

Genghis Cohen in Hollywood meets such a criteria. The restaurant is cool and hip with great Chinese food. It still manages to retain a down to earth feel to it and the attractive crowd of clientele it regularly attracts from throughout the Southern California region.

Such musical talents as Tracy Newman and the Reinforcements are among the kind of award winning local musicians which Genghis Cohen feature. Typically the live music starts at 8:30 pm. Of course, to get your order in and be eating your meal, and maybe just grazing on what's left, you'll want to have your dinner reservation at 7:00 pm, no later than a 7:30 pm seating reservation.

However, since you're single, you are not exclusively focused on the award winning musicians from throughout Southern California featured on stage. Now are you solely focused on the excellent Chinese food cuisine which you'll be getting to nosh on tonight.

Because you're single, you want to do what you can to leverage the crowd which are drawn to both the great Chinese food and the accompanying music. How can you do that?

First, yes, absolutely do phone early for a Saturday night show and get your reservation made earlier in the week. Then plan that you'll be wearing something casual and a little impressive. This is Los Angeles. You can always dress to impress and fit right in. Do aim to dress attractively so others can read from your body language grooming and styling signals that you are available and interested.

Then do aim to arrive about 60 - 90 minutes prior to your dinner reservation. Genghis Cohen has a bar. Where can you comfortably chat with strangers across from you at an LA restaurant? You can do chat across the aisle in the bar area.

Here are some ice breaker conversation starters you can use when Tracy Newman and the Reinforcements are performing. Substitute alternate text when it is a different musicians group there that night:

• Have you ever heard Tracy Newman and the Reinforcements perform before?
• How did you hear of Tracy Newman and the Reinforcements?
• Have you ever eaten at Genghis Cohen before?
• What is your favorite dish here at Genghis Cohen?
• Which of Tracy's songs is your favorite?

Have fun enjoying the great food, live music, and new people you'll meet!

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After 40 Dating Tips to Easily Meet More People This Weekend and Segue Into Dating Again

Do you mind if I ask you a question? What are your social plans this weekend? What do you have planned this weekend? Are you doing anything this weekend?

If your answer is, "Nothing," or "Not much," then please allow me to suggest that you start making an effort now to fill up your weekend calendar with some social plans that will ensure you meet a number of new people and get you out of your house comfortably and easily meeting others. You just might surprise yourself with how comfortable you can feel conversing comfortably with others.

Even if when you read this mature singles tips article it's Monday where you are, and you're wondering to yourself, "What on earth can she be thinking to bring up my plans for this weekend? Afterall my last weekend just ended, right?"

Perfect timing then!

Starting to think about your singles seeking activities next weekend now gives you all week. That gives you plenty of time to assess your previous weekend's activities, results, and work on your Dating Strategy.

In my working as a Dating Coach, I'm usually coaching my clients early in the week so they can do things now to ensure they actually have more dates this coming weekend. Get it? To get to where you are meeting people regularly throughout the week and then going on live interactive dates requires you to be like the farmers and plant socializing seeds beforehand. You need to plan seeds of socializing early in the week in order to reap the harvest of going on dates over the weekend.

So, what're your plans for this coming weekend? A great way to think about it is to do some reflecting assessments over your last weekend. What did you do? Did you meet new people? Any singles? Exchange phone numbers? Yes? No?

In which case, time to start contemplating some fun activities this weekend.

Get out your local newspaper. You can use either the print edition or the online version and go check out the community calendar of events. In the example of summer time for at least another month, you will probably have some Street Fair options. Some food festivals perhaps.

Circle 2 or 3 of these. Get the details and do be sure to go, ok?

Or you could feel free to stay at home alone for another weekend scrubbing your sink and downloading movie online while you are all alone.

Your choice.

What're my recommendation? Turn off your computer, get out and meet someone. All of those meetings of several someones is what leads to that one someone, that special someone for you.